Sunday, July 15, 2012
Remember, Trust, Remember
Thursday July 11 "Despite all of this, you would not trust the Lord, your God, who journeys before you to find you a place to camp." Deut. 1:33 "Though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer." Antiphon How hard it is to trust when we're asked to trust someone, even someone we know. Oddly enough, we might more easily trust an advertiser, a health food, a person met on line who charms, who fascinates, who plays, innocently or otherwise to our needs. And to our ideas of what we want. It is our fear, my fear, of letting go off my own strength, my will, my ideas, my fears. These can define who I am; they're how I know myself, especially in the dark. How am I to remember, how can we recall the scent or touch of the one who stooped down to feed us, picked us up and held us as scared children? Remember, remember, I try to remember, then I forget to remember when I think I must be in control of the situation. Yesterday it was easier to both act and let go when I feared a certain loss. It took, literally, an act of will, consciously calling to mind that God has acted and does act both with karmic suddenness and patient endurance. He is the one who journeys before me to find a place for me to rest awhile (for a camp is not a destination but a stopping place on the journey). Remembering yesterday, will it make letting go easier today? I think it will, because virtues are learned, they are habits formed, when a person listens to the prompts of the Spirit instead of the fears of the ego.